Sex

This is a subject that I sort of feel an obligation to speak on. As a young Black male, I want to share my views on sex as a family as a whole, from the children up to the parents. My reason for writing this post is to teach young men the right way to think about sex because to be truthful, some young men are growing up under the wrong direction of older male figures in their lives. So with that, I want to share my views and get the young and old men on the right track, because someone has to be a beacon of light for young men, and show them the correct way to view sex.

To start off this discussion, I want to say that I think that some men have everything twisted. They think that the more women that you have sex with, displays your masculinity. It is glorified in society, as if you are accomplishing a certain feat or obtaining a sort of mythical manhood stature. Taking numbers or stats doesn’t make you more of a man than anything in the world. Men you are teaching your sons, nephews, and friends the wrong way. As men teach these teenagers and young adults the wrong way, they neglect to tell you much about sex. They say that you should have it as much as possible, but neglect to tell you things about the consequences that come with having sex, and do believe me when I say that sex has consequences.

For starters, sex can complicate your life. Sex that is taken lightly can have devastating and catastrophic results. You have to be mature and responsible whenever you engage in a sexual act. There are many diseases out there that you can’t get rid of, such as AIDS, herpes, etc. Even if you don’t get those diseases, there are ones that you can contract and get rid of such as Gonorrhea, Chlamydia. Despite the fact that you can get rid of them, doesn’t negate the temporary effects of them, and the physiological effects of having contracted them. Now all jokes aside, me and my man downstairs are tight and he’s been with me from the start, so I wouldn’t ever want my best friend to suffer, or put him in a position to be set on fire. Thank the lord that I never contracted a disease, even though I had my share of sexual exploits. Also, I would be doing you no justice if I did not talk about getting someone pregnant. That in itself is devastating to a young person. Babies cost money to raise. They take diapers, milk, water, food, clothes, etc., and as a child having a child, you are crippling your child because you don’t truly know yourself yet, nor do you have the money or resources to give a child the life that they deserve to have.

You aren’t mature or ready to have sex as a teenager in my opinion. I know a lot of youngsters have tried to debate with me about being mature. Just because you are physically equipped, doesn’t mean that you are mature. Height and age doesn’t constitute maturity. White or grey hair does not engender maturity. Maturity doesn’t come with age, nothing does but wrinkles. There are a lot of 40 to 50 year old men that are more childish than some teenagers, so age doesn’t matter here. That is where the disconnect is at. The same guys that are telling these children that same crap are the ones whose lives are so messed up that they can’t see straight. Why would you teach a child to go down the same path that you had already ruined your life with? Sex should be reserved for when you are ready and mature mentally to handle the consequences associated with having it.

I have a question for you young men. Would you rather have sex with 200 women 1 time, or would you rather have sex with 1 woman 200 times? If you say the first, then you are foolish. A one night stand can leave you with a lifetime of troubles. Not to mention, that not every woman is great in bed. I would rather have one woman that I could get to know, and one that I could mold into what I wanted as far as in the bedroom, as well as me knowing what she likes as well. It makes the experience more pleasurable. That is what mature and wise men know, ya dig. Also, most of the young men think that sex starts in the bed, which is naïve. Sex is between the ears before it is between the legs, but this is what you learn as you mature. So just know young men, that you have a lot to learn and I’m about to teach you.

First lesson. What does the word SEX mean? Sex stands for S-Specially Designed, E-Enjoyed For Life, X-Sex is not X-Rated, It Is God Created. God says do sex his way. That means honestly to be between a husband and wife. That is why in the bible, it says wait until you are married to have sex. Sex is a part of discipleship. It should be seen as an act of worship. It is special. God smiles when a husband and wife make love. Sex is the superglue of marriage. Sex in a marriage is blessed. You are not fornicating, nor do you have the worries that come with having sex with someone that you don’t really know, nor do you ever wanna get to know on a serious basis. There isn’t such a thing as casual sex. Whoever said that was a liar. It might start off as casual, but it manifests into something more always. Feelings get involved by one of the parties, and that is when the strings become attached. So whoever says that sex means nothing wasn’t being truthful because when it comes down to it, sex is a web that gets tangled the more you do it.

Second lesson. How does lust play a part in everything? Lust is the biggest part that gets most men in trouble. Your hormones are racing and you can make irrational decisions while in the heat of the moment. You need to train your eyes to look once, and then see her as a body with parts. It is total fantasy. I see many beautiful women everywhere I go. I have had many beautiful women hit on me, and still do to this day. The thing that maturity tells me is, that woman may provide pleasure for a minute but not for more than that. The devil wants to turn sex into an unholy fantasy. Young people, you need to look past the lure of lust, to the result of lust. The devil wants to twist everything. He won’t tell you outright to go ahead and have sex with a woman. He will bring this woman around you, and tempt you. You know when people say that God won’t put more on me than I can bear, that is a scripture that is about temptation, not pain. For example, you see women out and about, and you think, “Wow, she is beautiful and I’d love to get with her and have sex.” Well people at work, and at the restaurants, etc., are always on top of their game. That is fantasy, not reality. They look different at home, and they have flaws too. So that is why lust is a sin and is costly if you take lusts advances.

As young men and older men, I think that when we see a young teenage boy and have some influence in his life, then we should teach them the right things instead of wrong things about sex and life. It is my responsibility to lead young men down the right path because most of the time, all that some teenagers need is a mentor or father figure to guide them down the right path. I mean think about it, what if someone would take interest in a troubled young man’s life, then maybe that young man won’t go down the wrong path, and just might amount to something. We all should teach our kids, nieces, nephews, friends, and even strangers about the right way to live. Though I have made many past mistakes, I can use those mistakes to teach the next generation about that mistakes that I made, so they won’t repeat the previous mistakes that I made. That means as far as having sex when I should’ve waited for marriage and everything else that I can teach. It is my duty and yours also.

~Marks of Wisdom