Left Behind

Growing up, I always heard that the United States was leaps and bounds ahead of the rest of the world. Now that I am older, I see how deceptive that that statement is. I have had the opportunity to network and have many friends of different ethnicities around the world, and I see the difference in mentalities from those cultures. With this superior mentality, I think that it has had the opposite effect on the United States than what it should have. I feel that it has given people of this country a lazy, do just enough mentality.  There are a few points that I want to discuss in this post that have a direct correlation on the false perception of superiority complex that the United States has vs. other cultures.

Point 1: The other cultures (Indian, Asian, African, Jamaican, Haitian, Mormon, etc) have a strategy of what they need to do and are going to do to make enough money to live their lives the way that they want to live them without having to worry about money. They do not go for the easy majors in school. They have the discipline and fortitude to endure the hardships of majors such as Doctor/Physician majors, Engineering, Dental majors, Information Technology, Computer Science, and other high paying majors. People of the United States go for majors such as Social Work, Nursing majors, Theatre majors, Dance majors, English majors, Business Majors, Nutrition majors, and other low paying majors. The difference in the majors that the people of the United States go after is that you have to usually have a Master's degree to get recognized enough to get a job in it, and even with Master's degrees, those majors do not make any money. For example, Indian culture learned a while back that technology is the way to go. They saw that the way of the world was going to technologically based jobs. So they built their economy around it. They were very smart to do this. That is why you see so many call centers, computer based jobs, and other technologically adept jobs getting filled by Indian people. That is how they have built an economy that is thriving and they are excelling while some other cultures are getting hit hard by the recession. Indians also do not even think of going after the low paying jobs AT ALL! If it doesn't pay a hefty salary, they don't even bother to go after it. That is the mentality that is needed to change cultures and to be the majority as far as making money and owning things.

Point 2: The other cultures know the effect of having a world view instead of just living as though the United States is just a BIG bubble.  My friends from other cultures study abroad, and learn about other cultures. They don't just make money in the United States. They make money WORLDWIDE! They know different languages, and not just English. They take advantage of the world's opportunities, and are not afraid to travel. Listen people, when you make yourself a global commodity, you have just opened a whole new avenue for making money and networking. The rest of the money in the world is just as good as the United States dollar in my opinion. Money is money to me, no matter where you make it. A lot of people in the United States don't wanna travel globally and are missing out on these opportunities. Heck, some people that I know won't even travel on Interstates in the United States for fear. You cannot have a spirit of fear and expect to have the life that you want. To be truthful, a lot of people feel like they are going to miss out on things over here such as socializing with their friends, when honestly those friends are not even worth it. If you have an opportunity to study abroad in college or go to work in another country, take advantage of it. You have to think outside of the bubble that has been created to be able to see life in a different manner. Please see that the rest of the world is passing you by.

                Point 3:  When you look at the rest of the cultures, they harp on their children making GREAT grades, not just good, not just mediocre, not just getting by and meeting the requirement to move on.  The majority of people in the United States rely on the teachers to give their children what they need to learn. You can't have that mentality. Asians, Indians, and other cultures teach their kids to read more than the allotted time that is given by the teachers at their kids schools. They have their children learning the high powered math that they will encounter from an early age. That is why they seem so smart when you encounter them. That is the trick. You see, no one is smarter than anyone else. It is just that they have been acclimated and introduced to that all of their lives. So it becomes second nature to them when they do it. They also give their kids opportunities to explore technology and teach them to think outside of the limitations of their mind. My wife and I for example, have our daughter do her homework at home after she gets out of school, and then we make her do extra math and reading for an hour after she finishes her work. This is to not just meet her need, but to exceed. You have to expect greatness in everything that you do as well as put in the effort to achieve that greatness. Knowledge doesn't just come to you, it is EARNED by your extra effort. You see, my mother always gave me books to read from the time that I was 4 years old. We went to the library all of the time and she saw that I loved engineering, so she let me go and check out books about science, and building, and engineering to let me see those things and open my mind to see what was achievable. I always had a penchant for spelling and reading and was always light years ahead of my class and I always give thanks to my mother for fostering that drive and discipline in me. For real skilled disciplines such as Engineering, Doctor, Dental, Lawyer, and other majors, education is imperative. You will always be judged on your grades, spelling, and diction. So introducing your children to math, spelling, and other reading is a must!

                Point 4: Other cultures are business oriented. Almost all of the Asian, Indian, and African friends that I have, their families own some sort of business. They don't just want to work for someone, they work smart and learn things from that business and strike out on their own. Working for others is not in their view because they know that they will not make the type of money that they want, and most of the time, will not get the respect that they deserve. Be-it as it may, some people of other cultures don't speak English well, and that makes it hard on them to work in certain jobs. So they start their own businesses. For example,  a lot of Bosnians in the United States start their own Trucking Businesses because they don't always speak English well, as it is a second language. In trucking, they usually only have to talk to people when they are delivering or picking up their loads, or either talking to the dispatcher of their loads to try to locate where the building that they are going to pick up or deliver  is at. Therefore they go for those jobs to limit their talk time. This is smart on their behalf, as well as they have learned how to bypass the so-called ladder of advancement that corporate work culture asks for. Another thing that a lot of people don't know is that the United States gives immigrants grants to start-up businesses when they come over here, which I learned when I was in Residential Construction. One of our customers told me this. He was an Indian man and he owned 8 Subway restaurants. Another one of my customers was Asian and he owned 5 Asian restaurants. This was key as they gave me a lot of knowledge and insight and put me up on game. Other cultures aren't foolish. They might not speak good English, but they are far from not being smart. They have found a loophole in the system that helps them to advance. I can't say that I blame them for it either. They know that if you own businesses, and land in the right places, then you have just acquired the assets to garner you power to make decisions!

                Point 5: They key thing that I see in other cultures is that they have togetherness and to be truthful African Americans don't. The other cultures only buy from their own ethnicity and they keep their money flowing in their own businesses. It passes through their hands and communities over 20 times before it goes out to the rest of the United States. That is remarkable. They are suppliers of their products, wholesalers of their products, and they only buy from their own people. They live together with each other: grandparents, parents, and children. So with that philosophy, they save a lot of money! They always have enough food because everyone chips in, and with the mortgage being split up among many brothers and sisters, it virtually costs each person nothing. That is why you see the other cultures driving nice cars, having huge homes, and living the good lives. They have learned the aspect of working together.  

                If you don't understand Economics and what is going on in the United States and with other cultures then you will eventually be left behind. You can learn a lot from other cultures because each one has a strategy and their strategies are working and not only working, they are thriving. At this point, the people of the United States are playing catch up. As I stated, there is not one exact reason, but a conglomerate of all of the things that I stated above.  As you can see, superiority complexes don't always tell the true story. They create a false sense of security, and actually have fostered a lazy mentality where the United States is getting lapped in the relay race. The only way to change the results of the downward slope is to change mentalities and be proactive in teaching kids and young adults to broaden their horizons and to look at the strategy that other cultures are doing, because they obviously are thriving and the people of the United States are falling far behind in Education, Economics, Technology and Business.  So are you out in front with the big dogs learning from the other cultures or are you getting lapped and left behind?

~Marks of Wisdom

Success and What It Takes

Success is one word that we all have many different opinions and meanings for. Some people achieve it and some just only dream of it. Some long for it and some are driven by it. Some worry about it and some gloat in it. I have a different affinity for success and a different appreciation for it.
My appreciation for success comes not from a need or want for praise or pats on the back. My appreciation comes from how hard I work at what I want to achieve. My one fear in life is being average. We all are born average, but that doesn’t mean that we have to live an average life. Average work yields average results. No one ever attains eminent success by simply doing only what is required of him. It is the amount and excellence of what is over and above the required that determines success. To me, being average means that you are just as close to the bottom as you are to the top. The difference between being great and being ordinary is that great people take everything as a challenge and therefore stay on their toes, but ordinary people see things either as a blessing or curse. Average people hope a lot. They hope that everything works out, rather than making things happen the way that you plan for them to work out. They hope more than they work. God gives every bird a worm, but he doesn’t throw it into the nest. Success doesn’t come to you, you go to it.
I guess you can say that my drive is different than most. I guess you could say that in learning myself growing up till now, I saw that if I outworked everyone else, then I would always be the best at whatever I took on. Every day, I try to work harder than I did the previous day. I find myself as my biggest competition, being that I don’t ever compete and won’t ever compete with anyone else. People are never your measuring gauge. You are. I refuse to be outworked. I don’t give 100%, I give 150% because if you only give your best, then you are not receiving your full potential, because just when you think you can’t give anymore, that is when perseverance kicks in. Your perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work that you already did. If you consistently work harder than you did the previous day then, you will get consistently better results. That means through the hard days, I work 3 times harder, just to achieve my goals. It’s crazy that I don’t sleep good some nights because my mind doesn’t shut down, I still pursue my goals in my dreams. Whether I am tired, sick, or even if it seems as though I am making no progress, I still give 150% because that is a temporary feeling or emotion. Emotions are what stop the majority of people from achieving their goals. They go off of what they feel at a certain point rather than powering through the hard times till the end. Progress hurts at times and won’t always be all roses or fun. You have to fight your bad days to deserve your best days. Smooth seas never made a skillful sailor. Success, to me is the time when you don’t feel like doing a certain thing but you do it anyway to achieve your goal. Life isn’t going to always deal you a great hand of cards. The thing that the wise have learned is to play the cards that you have long enough until you can be the dealer and shuffle your own cards.
It takes many hours, days, nights, weeks, and years of hard work to produce some results, depending on how big your goal is. The one key that I learned is discipline. You have to look further than your nose to years down the line rather than looking for instant gratification. It is better to drink of deep griefs than to taste shallow pleasures. Most people see only the ending result rather than the long days of hard work and long nights of staying up pursuing your goal. They don’t see the commitment that it took you to take it to that next level. Most people are not willing to commit to what they want to achieve. They give up because they say that it will take a while, or that it is impossible internally within themselves. Self doubt can kill your dreams and goals. If you aren’t willing to commit to something and risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary. Difficult things take a long time, impossible things a little longer. Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway, so you might as well put that passing time to the best possible use. Success can only come when you know the difference between the P’s: power, position, perseverance, pressure, prayer, and patience. Success is neither power nor monetary. Power is the position that you have achieved as a result of the perseverance that you had when you went through the pressures and stress to get to your position of power. Prayer is what always gets you through it all in the hard times and patience is what you need to handle the hard and trying times, and to wait till your time comes and receive the fruits of your labor that you sowed hours, days, nights, weeks, and years ago. So the question isn’t only what is success or what does it take, but rather are you willing to be your own question?

Frontier of My Mind

So much has changed over time, yet so much has stayed the same. There is so much more of an upside in my life, rather than the downside. So much of the scenery has broadened around me, and so much of the landscape of life has bloomed before my eyes. So many inches have turned into feet and so many feet have turned into miles in my walk of life. I have had many hills that I’ve climbed, but yet so many mountains that haven’t been explored in my life.
I have had many moments to smile, as well as many moments of disappointment. The smiles have always come more than the disappointment, yet I have learned that disappointments are beneficial to grow in life. My disappointments make me more driven to not ever be disappointed again. Disappointment hurts but not as much as settling for that disappointment when it happens to you. In growing into a man and growing in life, I have learned to smile in the face of defeat and despair. Nothing is ever as bad as we sometimes make it out to be. When all seems lost, there are always limitless possibilities. When and only when we learn that principle, can we learn to live stress free and peaceful. Good days and bad days come in the same chance to improve on. The only certainty is that we will have to face them. There are no good days or bad days, rather some days are better than others, and some days test you more than others.
There are so many phases in life that I go through. Each phase is like building a house. Each goal and phase that I hit in my life adds another level to the house of life that I am building. As I look into the windows of life, the more focused that I become to accomplish many new things. There are so many questions left to be answered, but yet it is better to have more questions than answers at times. There are many unknown things in my life to explore. The hunt for an answer to the unknowns in life is what fuels the fire in me. Each goal that I hit in life was a barrier that had to be overcome. It is a gift that takes so much work to attain, so much patience, so much determination that it never needs to be unwrapped, nor spoken of. Each phase of my life has a different meaning, but nonetheless is essential to building the house of life.
I have learned that transitioning to each new phase of my life; I have to withdraw from people. Sometimes it is beneficial to take a step back from everyone and clear your head. When you are alone, your thoughts become so much clearer. So many dreams are realized, so many ideas come to mind, and so many actions to the steps that you want to and need to take can be mapped out. Decompression from the world renews motivation, and removes all skeptics from your life, if even for that moment. Many times, I just sit on my patio and look out at the woods behind my house, and think about nothing. Listening to nature’s music is as soothing to my soul as the best massage that life has to offer. Animals are amazing in that they have no worries, but only what to eat next, and where to go in life. That to me is true peace. I love to think about nothing because that is when nothing turns into something, and a new and prolific idea is produced. Nothing good comes from a clouded mind, but great and ingenious ideas come from a clear and concise mind. Sometimes we need to wipe off the windows of our mind to get a greater outlook on the horizon of life. That is the only way that you can realize that the small hills that we have made in our lives are nothing more than distractions that need to be removed from our path. (By hills, I mean people, places, and things that consume your life, and add a negative influence to it.). Then and only then can we climb the mountain of life without the extra added baggage that having the wrong influences and people create for you to carry. Added weight doesn’t make you stronger; in actuality it hinders you from achieving your goal sooner rather than later.
I have so many dreams that have been realized, and so many goals to behold. Though the tasks may seem so far away, they give this astronaut a reason to shoot for the stars. I haven’t topped the hill but yet I have turned the corner. I have many new frontiers to pioneer, and the sky is not my limit, nothing is limited except how far the mind can think, and my mind is filled with infinite possibilities and ideas.

~Marks of Wisdom

Sex

This is a subject that I sort of feel an obligation to speak on. As a young Black male, I want to share my views on sex as a family as a whole, from the children up to the parents. My reason for writing this post is to teach young men the right way to think about sex because to be truthful, some young men are growing up under the wrong direction of older male figures in their lives. So with that, I want to share my views and get the young and old men on the right track, because someone has to be a beacon of light for young men, and show them the correct way to view sex.

To start off this discussion, I want to say that I think that some men have everything twisted. They think that the more women that you have sex with, displays your masculinity. It is glorified in society, as if you are accomplishing a certain feat or obtaining a sort of mythical manhood stature. Taking numbers or stats doesn’t make you more of a man than anything in the world. Men you are teaching your sons, nephews, and friends the wrong way. As men teach these teenagers and young adults the wrong way, they neglect to tell you much about sex. They say that you should have it as much as possible, but neglect to tell you things about the consequences that come with having sex, and do believe me when I say that sex has consequences.

For starters, sex can complicate your life. Sex that is taken lightly can have devastating and catastrophic results. You have to be mature and responsible whenever you engage in a sexual act. There are many diseases out there that you can’t get rid of, such as AIDS, herpes, etc. Even if you don’t get those diseases, there are ones that you can contract and get rid of such as Gonorrhea, Chlamydia. Despite the fact that you can get rid of them, doesn’t negate the temporary effects of them, and the physiological effects of having contracted them. Now all jokes aside, me and my man downstairs are tight and he’s been with me from the start, so I wouldn’t ever want my best friend to suffer, or put him in a position to be set on fire. Thank the lord that I never contracted a disease, even though I had my share of sexual exploits. Also, I would be doing you no justice if I did not talk about getting someone pregnant. That in itself is devastating to a young person. Babies cost money to raise. They take diapers, milk, water, food, clothes, etc., and as a child having a child, you are crippling your child because you don’t truly know yourself yet, nor do you have the money or resources to give a child the life that they deserve to have.

You aren’t mature or ready to have sex as a teenager in my opinion. I know a lot of youngsters have tried to debate with me about being mature. Just because you are physically equipped, doesn’t mean that you are mature. Height and age doesn’t constitute maturity. White or grey hair does not engender maturity. Maturity doesn’t come with age, nothing does but wrinkles. There are a lot of 40 to 50 year old men that are more childish than some teenagers, so age doesn’t matter here. That is where the disconnect is at. The same guys that are telling these children that same crap are the ones whose lives are so messed up that they can’t see straight. Why would you teach a child to go down the same path that you had already ruined your life with? Sex should be reserved for when you are ready and mature mentally to handle the consequences associated with having it.

I have a question for you young men. Would you rather have sex with 200 women 1 time, or would you rather have sex with 1 woman 200 times? If you say the first, then you are foolish. A one night stand can leave you with a lifetime of troubles. Not to mention, that not every woman is great in bed. I would rather have one woman that I could get to know, and one that I could mold into what I wanted as far as in the bedroom, as well as me knowing what she likes as well. It makes the experience more pleasurable. That is what mature and wise men know, ya dig. Also, most of the young men think that sex starts in the bed, which is naïve. Sex is between the ears before it is between the legs, but this is what you learn as you mature. So just know young men, that you have a lot to learn and I’m about to teach you.

First lesson. What does the word SEX mean? Sex stands for S-Specially Designed, E-Enjoyed For Life, X-Sex is not X-Rated, It Is God Created. God says do sex his way. That means honestly to be between a husband and wife. That is why in the bible, it says wait until you are married to have sex. Sex is a part of discipleship. It should be seen as an act of worship. It is special. God smiles when a husband and wife make love. Sex is the superglue of marriage. Sex in a marriage is blessed. You are not fornicating, nor do you have the worries that come with having sex with someone that you don’t really know, nor do you ever wanna get to know on a serious basis. There isn’t such a thing as casual sex. Whoever said that was a liar. It might start off as casual, but it manifests into something more always. Feelings get involved by one of the parties, and that is when the strings become attached. So whoever says that sex means nothing wasn’t being truthful because when it comes down to it, sex is a web that gets tangled the more you do it.

Second lesson. How does lust play a part in everything? Lust is the biggest part that gets most men in trouble. Your hormones are racing and you can make irrational decisions while in the heat of the moment. You need to train your eyes to look once, and then see her as a body with parts. It is total fantasy. I see many beautiful women everywhere I go. I have had many beautiful women hit on me, and still do to this day. The thing that maturity tells me is, that woman may provide pleasure for a minute but not for more than that. The devil wants to turn sex into an unholy fantasy. Young people, you need to look past the lure of lust, to the result of lust. The devil wants to twist everything. He won’t tell you outright to go ahead and have sex with a woman. He will bring this woman around you, and tempt you. You know when people say that God won’t put more on me than I can bear, that is a scripture that is about temptation, not pain. For example, you see women out and about, and you think, “Wow, she is beautiful and I’d love to get with her and have sex.” Well people at work, and at the restaurants, etc., are always on top of their game. That is fantasy, not reality. They look different at home, and they have flaws too. So that is why lust is a sin and is costly if you take lusts advances.

As young men and older men, I think that when we see a young teenage boy and have some influence in his life, then we should teach them the right things instead of wrong things about sex and life. It is my responsibility to lead young men down the right path because most of the time, all that some teenagers need is a mentor or father figure to guide them down the right path. I mean think about it, what if someone would take interest in a troubled young man’s life, then maybe that young man won’t go down the wrong path, and just might amount to something. We all should teach our kids, nieces, nephews, friends, and even strangers about the right way to live. Though I have made many past mistakes, I can use those mistakes to teach the next generation about that mistakes that I made, so they won’t repeat the previous mistakes that I made. That means as far as having sex when I should’ve waited for marriage and everything else that I can teach. It is my duty and yours also.

~Marks of Wisdom

In Between The Ears

So many things that are believed now-a-days are based off of perception. That is why I titled this post “In Between The Ears”, because it all starts in the mind. Whether it’s true or not, it all revolves on what you think.

A lot of people think just because someone has a big house, drive a high priced vehicle, or wear the best clothes, that they are successful. That is so far from the truth. Materialism is not success, nor does it correlate into being rich or wealthy. You can have a big house, the best clothes, the highest priced car, and still be the brokest human alive. All that having all of that material stuff means to me is that you have got a lot of payments that consume the money that you do have. Just because a person has all of those items doesn’t mean that they are paid for either. People can sell you a dream, but until I see a paid for deed for that house, or a title for that vehicle, it doesn’t mean a thing to me.

People think also that because I moved to Atlanta and I work as an Engineer that me and my family are rich or wealthy, and have it made. That makes me laugh. I have a question to ask people. What is your definition of rich, wealthy, and having it made? Because I have to get up everyday and go to work like anyone else, and so does my wife. Rich to me means that you have over a million (Liquid) dollars in your bank account. Wealthy is having billion (Liquid) dollars in your bank account in my eyes. It seems to me that I haven’t achieved any of those statuses, so I obviously have some more work to do and I am not either of those. Who has it made, huh? I sure haven’t. I go to work and work probably harder than anyone. The difference in me and other people is that I am motivated to go to the top and not settle for where I am now. If I had it made then I wouldn’t have to work and could just sit on my hump and lay back. So please don’t think that I have anything made. I have worked to get to the point in my life that I am at. There was nothing given to me, nor were there any corners cut. There have never been any silver or gold spoons put in my mouth. The only thing that was given to me was a hunger to succeed in anything that I do, and a dream of Engineering. So don’t be so quick to say that me and my wife have it made because I can show a million eyes hard times when I was growing up that they haven’t ever seen if they step into my shoes.

It’s funny that most people front like they are rich when they really don’t have but a few thousand in their bank accounts. Bragging about having a lot of money never makes me think that someone has any money. Talk is cheap. Let me clue you in on something. I know a lot of people who are rich and have plenty of money. The difference between broke people and rich people is that rich people don’t ever talk about how much money that they have, only broke individuals do. I’ve always heard that empty cans make the most noise, so obviously this statement is true.

A lot of people think that everything in me and my wife’s life is perfect. Nothing is perfect in life. Our life is not a Fairytale. If everything was perfect then there would be no need for God. Me and my wife have gone through so much over the years. People only see the end result sometimes. They only see the best and not the worst that you go through. They only see the success and not the struggle to get to the top. Me and my wife work hard at being the best couple that we can, and we give the same thing to the world that we give in our relationship, hard work. It’s not a coincidence that we do good in our work life, relationship, parenting, spiritual life, and giving back to the community. There is a lot of work going on behind the scenes in our lives that we do. It starts with our motivation. We are so motivated to leave this world with a great legacy. We are both dedicated to God and the principle of faith. Growing up poor, I see the value of faith and giving back. I believe that success unshared is failure. We both feel that you need to show up in life. A lot of people think that you have to get motivated and then you act. It is quite the opposite. You need to act and then get motivated after you act. That is what me and my wife learned quite early and it has paid off triple fold. I feel that in doing things that way then you won’t ever miss an opportunity because if you stay ready then you ain’t gotta get ready when the times comes. That is why me and my wife do good in whatever we take on. So please don’t think that our lives are easy. It takes hard work to do your best.

There is also a misconception about competition. I have had a lot of people that have tried to compete with me over the years, and think that I will compete with them. Let me make this clear to anyone that hates me or tries to compete with me. I will not compete with you. I only compete with myself to make myself better. I don’t respond to anything that anyone says about me because they aren’t worth my time. If you respond to anything that anyone says about you then that means that you have stooped down to their level. I don’t compete because I have the house that I want. I have the vehicles that I want. I have the family that I want. So why is their any need to compete when I am satisfied with my life? Also people have tried to compete with money. I could care less about what anyone makes or what they do because you are just working a job to use your money to show off for now, and I’m working on my career to set up my kids and grandkids. I do this for God, my wife and kids, and because I know that I am blessed to be a blessing to others less fortunate than me. You do this for selfish intent and for competition. So when you try to compete, just know that I am cut from a different cloth. It’s like trying to compare a patchwork quilt to Egyptian cotton sheets. By that I mean that we are of different quality and purpose. So just know that I refuse to ever acknowledge anyone that competes with me because my goals are not the same as yours, so the odds are not in your favor.

I will leave this post by saying this. Don’t ever look at what other people have and want it or covet it. That is why the bible says live by faith and not by sight. Things may look good on the outside, but they are not always as they seem. They may have something one day, and they might not have it the next. That’s why perception is a mirage at times, and made up in between your ears. I say read into something before you go to cast judgment. Don’t judge a book until you’ve read it in-depth.

~Marks of Wisdom

Trials & Their Silver Lining

I think that I can speak on this subject because I can honestly say that I’ve been tested more than most people. Being that I was in the Construction Industry, I endured a lot of trials over the past years. I was laid off 3 times in 3 years at a time in my life. Being that I was laid off that many times in consecutive years made me a stronger man, and more resilient.

Most say that going through a hardship or trial builds your character. I think that going through a hardship shows you whether you had any character at all in the first place. The first time that I was laid off was the hardest because of the fear of the unknown. This was new territory for me. I didn’t know if I would get a new job soon, or what was going to happen. Fortunately, I always have been a person that relies on God to provide and not man. The second time that it happened, I sort of knew what to expect and I had an idea of how to tackle this hardship with God’s help. The third time, I knew what to expect all around, and I wasn’t fearful at all, nor was I angry or sad. Each time God made my spirit stronger, more motivated, and not so gun shy of the pink slip.

Through the time when I was laid off and throughout my life growing up, God showed me things that I started to figure out as I matured in life. He showed me that sometimes you have to lose something to get something better. Each time that I got laid off, I got a better job and a lot better pay. If I had stayed in the same job that I had before, then God couldn’t have blessed me with a better situation. A lot of times we are quick to anger and sadness when every a trial comes our way, but I learned to step back and watch God do his work. I started to realize what was going on, and just let it flow. I see now that I was not on the right mountain. I was just climbing small hills and God was knocking me down those hills to make me stronger, more dependent on him, and to put me on the mountain that he wanted. When the lord has a greater calling for you, he will put you through things many times over, and in the end, you will be better than you would’ve ever thought.

God was building me up for a greater plan “His Plan.” He allowed me to take on those trials so that each time my focus, confidence, resilience, and faith could grow. My patience and faith has been tested, and God gave me the “Rubber Band Factor” for my life. That means that I fell many times, but I always bounce back, through God’s grace. I learned throughout my life that how you view the world all depends on your perspective. Some days you eat the bear, and some days the bear eats you. By that I mean, some days are good and some are bad. I learned to be happy no matter what comes my way. Just because a day isn’t going great doesn’t mean that I can’t find something good to take from that day. Most of the time we view a day that doesn’t go the way that we would like as a bad day, but I see those days as days opportunities to turn a negative into a positive because if the day didn’t go rough then you wouldn’t have learned something new, such as how to deal with a future situation that goes down like that day did. I see that life’s ups and downs provide us with windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals.

Most of the time, we don’t get down until someone else says “Aw man I’m sorry and I feel bad for you.” My take is don’t feel sorry for anyone because you don’t know what God has planned for that person. Here’s an example. When I was laid off the second time I got a great job offer but it was in Baltimore, Maryland. Many people had told me that they wouldn’t take it, and that it was too far away, and that the crime was too high. If I had not moved up there then I wouldn’t have been able to see a new part of the country, pay my bills, feed my family, nor would I have gotten that big paycheck. People will push their fears off on you, and stop you from getting your blessing if you listen to them. Also, you need to realize that everyone isn’t for you. Even though they say that they have your best intentions in mind. Most people don’t want you to go to a certain place, take a certain job, nor do they see the great plan that God has in store for you. The reason being for all of that is because some people don’t want you to succeed in anyway because they don’t want you to get ahead of them in life. We need to see the silver lining in everything, whether it suits us or whether it doesn’t. You have to take a leap of faith when God gives you an opportunity rather than listening to other people’s opinions and emotions. You all know what I mean by emotions. Here’s an example. Someone will always say “I don’t know about you doing that or I don’t feel that you should do that.” That’s why I usually am alone. I have a select few friends, family, and I don’t even have any associates anymore. I have tunnel vision for positivity, and a mental block for foolishness. I don’t play little games or act like I am cool with anyone if they are associates because they just waste your time when you know that you don’t like them. I’m grown now and don’t have time for “Time Robbers” as I call them. I just say keep it moving. I’m not going to miss my blessing pretending to like someone when I know that they are just there to just be nosey and front like they like you. I say be real with yourself and if you don’t really like someone then say it, and not waste your own time by acting like you are their friend, or as I call it “Sleeping With The Enemy.”

I learned a lot through the trials. I learned who was for me and who was not. I learned that “He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.” So therefore I say don’t listen to people, don’t try to do things to make people happy, and believe in yourself, and God. I learned to distance myself away from negativity as a youngster. The more people that you have in your life; the more chance that you have for trials, drama, and opinions that are not needed. It just comes with the territory. I see trials as segments to transcend you into a new phase of your life. Trials are beneficial. Don’t look at a trial as a negative. Turn them into positives. They are there for your benefit. How can you have a testimony without going through a test first? How could you get to the next level of your life without first having to be disconnected from your prior situation. It’s rather funny that most of us didn’t like that situation in the first place, beit a job, relationship, or a decision that you needed to make but didn’t know how to. So why be angry or sad that it is over now? My advice is to see trials as good instead of bad. Think of it as I do. It takes a lot of pressure, many hours, weeks, maybe even years to make a piece of coal into a diamond, but the end result is shiny, and worth more than it ever would’ve been if only viewed as a lump of coal. I want you all to shine bright and see the silver lining in hardships and trials rather than questioning them and being quick to anger and sadness because God is taking you to another level.

~Marks of Wisdom

Religion vs. Relationship

Throughout my life I have encountered many misunderstood notions as to what it means to be a Christian. I think that many people mistake having a religion for having a relationship with God. Throughout my thoughts today I want to shed more light into this subject.
I see that Christianity has become more tradition rather than relationship. There is a big problem in this. I will explain. As a kid, many people are told that they have to go to church on Sunday, but the parents don’t really explain why. That is tradition. When the kid asks the parent “Why do I have to go to church”, then parents say “Because I said so” instead of explaining the bible thoroughly. The child doesn’t understand anything unless you teach them. That is why you see so many people in church on Easter, Christmas, and Mothers Day instead of the rest of the year. Here’s a story for you to contemplate about tradition. A woman cooked a ham in the oven but always cut the butt off of it. So one day her husband asked her “Why do you cut the butt off of it every time you cook it.” She said well my mother always cooked it that way. Still wondering, he said yeah but why? She said I don’t know I’ll ask my mother. So she called her mother and her mother said “Well that’s how my mother always cooked it.” So the mother said I’ll call my mother and ask her since she is still alive. So they called the grandmother and asked her why she cooked it like that, and she said “Well I used to cut the butt off of the ham because the pan was too small”, lol. So that is just a demonstration of why tradition isn’t always the answer.
Some of the breakdown of the relationship starts by the church that you go to. Churches are supposed to be used to grow your relationship with God. You should seek churches wherein you can learn the principles of God, and that live by example. For example, I don’t personally think that a pastor has to hoop and holler to preach. Some people like that, but me personally I don’t. I don’t knock preachers that do that. That’s just my personal preference. My reason being that it’s more of a distraction for me. I zone out and daydream when they do it. I feel that there is a difference in preaching with passion and hollering just to make the congregation say “Preach on Pastor”. To me there is a difference between talking and teaching. The difference between just talking and teaching is that when someone just talks to you, you forget about that in a couple of hours, but when someone teaches you something, it stays with you for a lifetime. That is why I like pastor’s that teach in their sermons.
The bad thing about not having a good relationship with God is that you don’t really know him. A lot of people act like praying to God is magic. They think that all you have to do is pray and BAM, all of your prayers are answered. God requires obedience and discipline, and not just words. For example, A lot of people will do something wrong and know all the while that it is sin and wrong, and then have the audacity to say “Oh Well God Will Forgive Me.” Don’t you know that is pre-meditated sin. God doesn’t reward you for just saying “forgive me” when you know that you are doing wrong. Everything is all in the intent. If you do something without knowing that it is wrong, then it is different than doing something and knowing that it is wrong. That’s why I say it’s all in the intent. Yes, God will forgive you, but that does not negate the consequences of that sin, just know that.
Christianity has become watered down because people have religion rather than a relationship. This is due to one major factor. Hollywood has watered down the Angel and real Christianity for the matter of it. Throughout history an angel is perceived to be a baby with wings and a harp, singing music and going about on clouds. Throughout the bible, Angels never came in the form of a baby. They came in the form of a grown man. The baby is portrayed in art and movies as a baby rather than having any truth to it. The crazy part of it is that in this new age Adultery is not shunned as much as it used to be. Now a woman can mess with a famous man, and get rich and famous off of it. The problem with this newfound disrespect for God’s commandments is that the generation after that thinks that that is the standard. This generation is bold and permits all kinds of disregard for God’s word. Just know that today’s permission becomes tomorrow’s standard. Every time you lower the standard, your kids are going to come along and set it lower. Now that’s scary huh?
Many people think that Christians are wimps, pushovers, or lames. They think that we don’t have fun. That is so far from the truth. In the bible there were many God warriors. For instance, Peter cut off the guard’s ear when they tried to take Jesus away at the garden of Gethsemane, and David beat Goliath with a sling and a rock. There were also many people in the bible like David that danced in praise of the lord, and had fun. I have more fun as a mature Christian now than I used to as a young person because I know how to have fun the right way. I used to have stupid fun instead of logical fun. Also, being a Christian doesn’t mean that I am a pushover or that I won’t speak my mind. It just means that when I do speak to you, that I take more time out to think before I say something bad to you and I won’t put my hands on you if you get out of line with me.
There is a mythical place called Purgatory that needs to be talked about. They say that is a place that you go to while waiting on Jesus to come back. So they are calling it a Waiting Room. That is funny. Why would there be any reason for God to write the 10 commandments, and give us the manual on Earthly life (The Bible), if we were just going to a waiting place? When we die, we are either going to Heaven or Hell. After you die, you get no 2nd chances. There is no in between place. That would defeat the whole purpose of Jesus coming to Earth and dieing on the cross, am I correct?
A lot of people say that they believe in God and are Christian but don’t know anything that is in the bible, nor do you live your life by example. To be a Christian means to be Christ-like, and model yourself in his image. Ask yourself are you living as Christ would, or are you living your life as you would? That is why other religions don’t respect Christians, just to be truthful. A lot of us are living as hypocrites. We can all put Christian quotes and sayings on Facebook and say things to someone’s face that sound good. It is the life that you live in private and everyday that shows your true character. A lot of us think that all we have to do is just believe in Jesus to get to heaven. God calls all Christians to be disciples for him. The word disciple means “Disciplined One.” How can you be disciplined when you don’t even heed to what he has commanded you to do? God dislikes lukewarm Christians. He says be either or, and don’t straddle the fence. A lot of people don’t even know the truth about heaven except what their parents have taught them. My question is if you don’t know any of God’s commands by not reading the bible and heeding to God’s commands then aren’t you going to be a stranger to him? The bible is your manual for living your life the way that God wants it to be lived, don’t you see that? A lot of us constantly ask God to speak to us, but the same ones don’t see that he speaks to us through scripture. When you read the bible and meditate on it, then God shows you all that you need to know. The bible is your guide book to navigate throughout life, and it is your way to communicate with God. Ask yourself do you have religion or do you have a relationship?

~Marks of Wisdom